Edward VIII and Mrs. Simpson

Biographical Essay

By Richard E. Noble

King abdicates throne for “love”.
What a wonderful story, huh? It could have been written by Eric Segal, and produced and directed by little “Oppie” of the Andy Griffith show. The stars should have been Grace Kelly and Cary Grant. Ahh Yes, how sublime. But reality turns out to be quite different. Not only doesn’t Mrs. Simpson resemble Grace Kelly in appearance or character, the real story could have been written by Stephen King, or Robert Ludlum.
You can find a pretty good outline of the other side of this story in “Hitler and His Secret Partners”, written by James Pool or a biography of the colorful couple written by Charles Higham. It is quite a story.
The King of England turns out to be pretty much a Nazi; his mother, after all, was of German royalty.
Whatever attractive force Mrs. Simpson had, as my mother-in-law used to say, certainly didn’t show. I’ve looked at every picture of Mrs. Simpson that I could find, and as far as I can determine, I’m sure that she had to shave at least twice a day. Man, she is one rough looking female! But what she lacked in exterior beauty she seems to have made up for in her studies of the Karma Sutra and her meandering in Chinese brothels. It is not only pointed out that she spent some time in Oriental brothels but that she may have even been employed in a couple of them. She seems to have been a well known playmate for the upper crust, and one of her chums was the future son-in-law of Mussolini. We can only assume that the King’s interest in Mrs. Simpson wasn’t Platonic.
It also doesn’t seem to hold up historically that the King abdicated for “love”. In actuality, it does seem that he had his royal butt booted out of the Palace by Stanley Baldwin, Winston Churchill and some of the other boys from the British Government. He couldn’t seem to keep his German sympathies to himself, and every time he brought home any top secret information from the Parliament it turned out to be tomorrow’s news in the Berliner Tageblatt.
Not only does it turn out that the King of England is a Nazi himself, and Mrs. Simpson a royal humper for the “Rodney” class, she ain’t even nice to our little lord Edward Adolf VIII. She abuses him in public everywhere they go, ridicules him, has numerous affairs with both men and woman, and continually calls him a bonehead for giving up the Crown. Because when Eddy decided not to be King anymore, he also decided that Mrs. Simpson wouldn’t be Queen, ever; a much more serious offense in the mind of Mrs. Simpson, and a lot of other woman just like her, I suppose.
As for Grace Kelly, boy, ain’t she Sweet!