Sunday, May 13, 2007

"Boobs with a View"


By Richard E. Noble

Feminism has a philosophy. I think it is most intellectually expressed in the book “The Second Sex” by Jean Paul Sartre’s girlfriend or mistress or second wife or whatever - what’s her name - you know, she’s French ... Marie or Daphne or something like that.
The whole book is about how women have been diminished and left out of everything and treated insignificantly by men. It is the claim of feminism that women have been relatively insignificant and obscured throughout history - no women philosophers or great thinkers, or presidents etc. - not because they aren’t all that smart but because they have been forced into ignorance and a lack of great achievement by “males”.
Men have also been forcing them to have all of those babies. Funny, almost all the men that I have known didn’t want any babies. I only knew one guy in my whole life who actually wanted to have a child - but he wanted a boy and he got two girls instead. Most men want sex - not babies. Unfortunately when women have sex they often end up having babies. That is because they are women and not men. Men don’t have babies. One would think that if women didn’t really want to have babies, they would look into their natural situation more thoroughly before engaging in sex.
I really didn’t know that the older fellow who sat in our living room for the early years of my life drinking beer, smoking his pipe and farting was actually my father until his funeral. At his funeral everybody kept coming in and saying, “I’m so sorry about your Dad.” And I said; Well I’ll be! That’s who he was - go figure.
So it is us guys that have been keeping the girls down all these centuries. I suppose; but no more. It is the “Age of the Female”. And the idea is that women are going to rule - they are going to make the world a better place. And they have already started and I must say things are already getting better. Now we have doilies and huggie bears in our armored tanks; we have little daisies painted on the walls down in the holes of aircraft carriers and the toilet seats must be left down in any and all military facilities. Ah yes, the old “foxhole” is getting fox-ier by the minute.
We have women prizefighters; complete with pug noses and cauliflower ears. And women wrestlers complete with muscles and tattoos.
It is really liberating to see a group of women sitting at a large table over in a corner of a busy restaurant smoking cigars and telling dirty jokes to the disturbance of all other patrons – they giggle instead of guffaw. I have even heard that women now have bachelor parties where they watch sexually explicit movies of ‘men” placed in embarrassing and humiliating poses. That’s great; I love it! I’m so happy for the girls. Now at long last, they can be as crude, rude and obnoxious as the men that they so secretly admire.
I presume that they must admire these men or why would they be so intent on emulating them?
So already we have war getting a lot cuter than it used to be. In fact, almost everything is getting cuter - even men.
We even have an all female talk show. And all the girls on the show are so excited about it that none of the participants can stop talking long enough to listen to any of the others. When men do that it usually breaks out into a fist fight, but that hasn’t happened yet on “Boobs with a View” - I think that’s the name of the show. I like it - real, honest to goodness - boob-ism. Now for the first time in all of modern history we can watch the “boob-tube” and hear “boobism” by individuals who actually have boobs themselves - it is truly “boob-erating”.
But I like it. I wonder if they have jockey short raids at Harvard and Yale these days?
Feminism seems to me to be fem-MEN-ism. It’s Freudian “penis envy” all over again. I was really looking forward to the feminist world. It was clear to me that men had made a mess of it. But unfortunately it looks like the new female world is going to be the same old men’s world - only in drag.

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