Avoiding responsibility is nothing new, but today, I think, we have finally gone off the deep end. I don’t know where it started but I think it all began with some President and CIA shenanigans.
The President is having trouble with some dictator in Slumbovia. The CIA has the perfect solution. Let’s kill the guy. The President says O.K., but I don’t want to know anything about it. Do whatever you have to do but don’t tell me poop about it. The CIA runs off and blows up Slobadumb Heissabum. But then when the committee on “let’s cover everything up” appears on TV, the President says . . .What bombing? Who got killed? I know nothing.
This tactic is called the art of Plausible Denial. It seems to be working well for government, so now private enterprise has gotten in on the act.
You may have just heard about the lady who lives in Guatemala or Malaysia who may be hired at two cents a month to take your order at the local fast food drive-through for a quarter-pounder with cheese in the near future. This is all going to be accomplished by the Internet or satellite or something. But, whether or not, I’m sure you will be familiar with the following - which is, more or less, what I consider an actual description of the way it always seems to turn out these days.
The garbage truck passes by your little business’s dumpster for the nineteenth time this month. Your dumpster is supposed to be dumped once each week. You have garbage all over your parking lot and today the wind is just perfect and the garbage is actually being blown right in your front door. So you get out your United Hurryup Dumpster Service card, and call the emergency number on the back.
“Al-ohhh? Dees ees dee Ory-yap Dumpster Ser-veese.”
“Yeah, well, your darn truck just zoomed by me once again. Do you think that you clowns are going to be able to pick up my garbage some time this year?”
“What corn-tree are you call-ling from?”
“What country? I’m calling from the United States of America, the home of the free - the land of the brave.”
“Hold on please ... beep, buzz, puff, puff ... Hello this is George. I’m the U.S. representative for the Hurryup Dumpster Service. How may I help you?”
“Yeah, George, the truck just zoomed by me again. In fact, I can see the darn thing right out my window. He’s about a block down the road and it looks like he is going to forget me one more time. I’ve got garbage everywhere. I should think at six thousand dollars a month, you blank-blanks should be able to get a can or two of mine into your lousy truck a couple of times a year, anyway. Can I talk to somebody in charge or are all your executives still in the Federal Penitentiary?”
“What state are you calling from, sir?
“This is Billy Bob’s Heavenly Hog Bar-b-que, and I’m calling from that great state of Florida. Our delegation is proud to cast all of our four million uncounted votes for anybody. Is there anybody out there, for crying outloud?”
“Thank you. I will connect you to your state ... beep, beep whirl ... (music) ... lots of time later ... Hello? This is Kathy, your Florida state representative and on behalf of the Hurryup Dumpster Service may I be the first …”
“Yeah, yeah, yaaaa. Listen sweetheart. I have been waiting here now for two hours. I want to talk to somebody about my garbage.”
“What county are you calling from, sir?”
“Oh my goodness! I’m calling from Franklin County, Florida which is located in the United States of America ... And …”
“One moment, sir; I’ll connect you ... beep beep ... screech beep ... beep ... Good after-noon. If you are calling about paying your bill, press one. If you are a new customer, press two. If you need service, press three.”
(After pressing three) Beep beep ... “Al-oh? what corn-tree are you calling from?”
Richard E. Noble has been a resident of Eastpoint for around thirty years now. He has authored two books: “A Summer with Charlie” which is currently listed on Amazon.com and “Hobo-ing America” which should be listed on Amazon in the not too distant future. Most recently he completed his first novel “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother” which will be published soon.
Books by Richard Edward Noble. Click on covers below for more info and purchasing instructions.
Classic Tragic Novel
Don't Laugh - This Could Have Been Your Life
Funny stories and some strange characters.
Monkey Dishes and Cocktail Fawks
My Harrowing days in the restaurant business. Great Read.
It's a Long Story
Long Short Fiction - Great stories!
Bloggin' Be My Life
"Bloggin' be My Life" contains a selection of some of my more popular Hobo Philosopher blogs.If you enjoy reading this blog, you should love Bloggin' Be My Life.
It's All About Love
It's All About Love is ... all about love. This is the 2nd book of poetry from The Bard From Chelmsford off Arlington. Every poem in this book comes with a prose introduction. If you enjoy poetry this is a simple choice. Have fun!
A Little Something
Traditional poetry from The Bard From Chelmsford Off Arlington with some poignant prose introductions. If you enjoy any type of poetry, you will enjoy this volume. Thanks.
Talking To Myself
This is my third book of poetry.
Bits and Pieces
The Hobo Philosopher - My first book using the Hobo Philosopher brand. Featuring a variety of writing styles and ideas. Look for the Thoughtful Hobo on the cover.
A Baker's Dozen
The Hobo Philosopher: My Second book of Fiction, Creative Non-Fiction and Short Stories. All varieties of short stories - lots of laughs!
Cat Point - and Them Dang Oyster People
Cat Point is the sequel to "The Eastpointer." Both books contain humorous tales about life in a fishing community on the Florida Panhandle. Lots of laughs.
Won 1st Place award for humor in 2007 from Florida Press Association. More wit, wisdom and humor from the yet to be world famous author, R.E. Noble
A Summer with Charlie - Lawrence
Fiction - Salisbury Beach, Lawrence, Mass. Featured in Merrimack Valley Magazine July /Aug. issue 2010
Travel, Humor, Commentary on migrant farm work and illegal immigration still very pertinent today.
"Just Hangin' Out Ma"
Thank God for the Street Corners of Lawrence, Mass. Anecdotes and humorous escapades about growing up in an industrial mill town in the 40s,50s and 60s.
This is the sequel to "Just Hangin' Out, Ma"
That Old Gang of Mine
This is # 3 in my Lawrence Hometown series. The series is about growing up in the 40's, 50's and 60's in an industrial mill town. Sorta like a Huck Finn goes to vist Uncle Ralph, the bus driver, who lives in a big, rundown city. Lots of fun.
Come On-A My House
This is # 4 in my Lawrence Hometown series.The old homested at 32 Chelmsford ST is pictured on the cover..
Down By The Old Mill Stream
# 5 in the Lawrence My Hometown series.
Standing on the Corner is # 6 in the lawrence My Hometown series.
The old Howard Playstead on Lawrence St.
Eat, Drink and Be Merry
# 7 in the Lawrence my Hometown series.
Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother
Classic tragic novel written from child's perspective. Deals with abuse, poverty, unemployment. Pulls no punches.
Noble Notes on Famous Folks
Humorous, satirical notes on everybody from Constantine to Bill Clinton. Inspiration: Willy Cuppy.
America on Strike
History - documented survey of labor strikes in America
Mein Kampf - An Analysis of Book One
Who are the American Nazis - the Liberals or the Conservatives?
MY NAME IS RICHARD EDWARD NOBLE. I AM A FREELANCE WRITER AND I HAVE PUBLISHED 12 BOOKS:"THE EASTPOINTER" - SELECTIONS FROM AWARD WINNING NEWSPAPER COLUMN - "A LITTLE SOMETHING" - POETRY WITH PROSE -"HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER" - A NOVEL ABOUT GROWING UP IN THE NEW ENGLAND MILL TOWN OF LAWRENCE, MASS, "HOBO-ING AMERICA" - A WORKINGMAN'S TOUR OF THE U.S.A. - "A SUMMER WITH CHARLIE" - THE STORY OF A YOUNG SAILOR'S LAST DAYS AT SALISBURY BEACH, "NOBLE NOTES ON FAMOUS FOLKS" - HUMOROUS ANECDOTES ON FAMOUS FOLKS IN HISTORY,
"AMERICA ON STRIKE" HISTORY BOOK - A SURVEY OF LABOR STRIKES IN AMERICA; "A BAKER'S DOZEN" A BOOK OF HUMOROUS SHORT STORIES; "JUST HANGIN' OUT, MA" - GROWING UP IN THE 40'S, 50'S AND 60'S IN LAWRENCE, MY HOMETOWN, "TENEMENT DWELLERS" - SEQUEL TO JUST HANGIN OUT, MA; MEIN KAMPF - ANALYSIS OF BOOK ONE - HISTORY. CAT POINT - AND THEM DANG OYSTER PEOPLE - SEQUEL TO THE EASTPOINTER
All 12 BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM, BARNES AND NOBLE AND OTHER INTERNET SOURCES OR FROM NOBLE PUBLISHING. ALL 12 OF MY BOOKS ARE NOW ON KINDLE AT BARGAIN PRICES TOO. IF YOU WOULD LIKE MORE INFORMATION ABOUT DISCOUNTS AND SPECIAL OFFERS E-MAIL ME. MY EMAIL IS ON MY PROFILE PAGE.