By Richard E. Noble This young man stepped up to the counter at Hobo’s in Carrabelle and as I prepared his lunch he began to expound on all the vicissitudes of his life. His first complaint was with “women today.” He was especially displeased with American women. “American women are too materialistic and appearance conscious. Every man looks like a big dollar sign to them. If you don’t have a nice, new car and a good paying job and a bunch of money, or you don’t look like their favorite movie hero, they dump you without a second glance.” [So on top of not being very good looking, I now figured that this guy didn’t have a good job, he was driving an old car and he didn’t have a pot to pee in.] “Yeah, that’s so true. I guess that has always been the case,” I offered. “No, I don’t think so. In the olden days, when you were my age, things were better. Today they are way out of hand.” “Really? The olden days, huh?” “Oh yeah. And the colleges today are really propaganda mills. I mean going to college is just a total waste of time.” [Okay, no car, no job, no money and no college. What else is this guy lacking?] “The girls in Venezuela are much better,” he added. [Oh oh, he has bought a magazine and is sending away for a mail order bride.] “How do you know that?” “Well, I once lived in Venezuela.” “Oh really. Well, why didn’t you marry a girl from Venezuela?” “Who wants to get married? Do I look crazy?” [Yes you do, but my job as the friendly soda jerk is to keep things light and lively. No chasing away the customers - even if they are crazy. So, here is a guy with nothing to offer and he is wondering why nobody is taking him up on it. Maybe I can change the subject.] “What do you do for a living?” “I teach guitar at a music store. It don’t pay much but I like it. What I really want to be is a country songwriter.” “Oh you are a country songwriter. Do you sing too?” “I can sing.” “Oh great, let me hear you sing one of your country songs.” “Well, I haven’t written any yet.” “Why not?” “Well, it takes a lot of time and effort to write a country song, or any type song for that matter. First you have to think up a melody and most of the good melodies have already been taken. Then you have to make up words that go with the melody. That ain’t easy either.” “Yeah, and all the good words have been taken too. But if you have never written a country song how do you know that you can really write one?” “I’ve been playing the guitar since I was six years old. If I can’t write a stupid country song, I had better give up.” “I suppose, but you can’t sell what you don’t have either. You know there are a few country music stars living right in this area.” “Really! Do you think that they would buy a song from me?” “You don’t have any. How could they buy one?” “Well if I knew that somebody famous wanted a song and would pay me to write it, I could get one ready pretty quick.” “I don’t think it works that way. I remember reading about Kris Kristofferson renting a helicopter and landing it in Johnny Cash’s backyard so he could play a song that he wrote for him in the hopes that Johnny might buy it.” “I can’t afford to rent a helicopter. Besides, Johnny Cash is dead.” “Right. No sense in that I guess.” “Do you think that if I found out where one of those country singers lives around here, and I went out to his house, he would hire me to write songs for him?” “Well ahh, it’s possible.” “I think that I am going to try that.” “Yeah, be sure to let me know how that works out.” It has been a number of years now and I think about that kid often. He really wasn’t that young. He was probably in his late 20’s or early 30’s. He was old enough to parent a child, vote in a presidential election, get a driver’s license, and buy a hand gun in the state of Florida. But then again, I participated in this conversation because he had enough money to buy a sandwich in my eatery and I wanted his money. Which one of us was worse off?
“A Little Something” is R.E. Noble’s first book of poetry and it is now on sale at Amazon along with Hobo-ing America, A Summer with Charlie, Honor Thy Farther and Thy Mother and The Eastpointer. Richard Noble is a freelance writer who has lived here in Eastpoint for nearly 30 years.
Books by Richard Edward Noble. Click on covers below for more info and purchasing instructions.
Classic Tragic Novel
Don't Laugh - This Could Have Been Your Life
Funny stories and some strange characters.
Monkey Dishes and Cocktail Fawks
My Harrowing days in the restaurant business. Great Read.
It's a Long Story
Long Short Fiction - Great stories!
Bloggin' Be My Life
"Bloggin' be My Life" contains a selection of some of my more popular Hobo Philosopher blogs.If you enjoy reading this blog, you should love Bloggin' Be My Life.
It's All About Love
It's All About Love is ... all about love. This is the 2nd book of poetry from The Bard From Chelmsford off Arlington. Every poem in this book comes with a prose introduction. If you enjoy poetry this is a simple choice. Have fun!
A Little Something
Traditional poetry from The Bard From Chelmsford Off Arlington with some poignant prose introductions. If you enjoy any type of poetry, you will enjoy this volume. Thanks.
Talking To Myself
This is my third book of poetry.
Bits and Pieces
The Hobo Philosopher - My first book using the Hobo Philosopher brand. Featuring a variety of writing styles and ideas. Look for the Thoughtful Hobo on the cover.
A Baker's Dozen
The Hobo Philosopher: My Second book of Fiction, Creative Non-Fiction and Short Stories. All varieties of short stories - lots of laughs!
Cat Point - and Them Dang Oyster People
Cat Point is the sequel to "The Eastpointer." Both books contain humorous tales about life in a fishing community on the Florida Panhandle. Lots of laughs.
Won 1st Place award for humor in 2007 from Florida Press Association. More wit, wisdom and humor from the yet to be world famous author, R.E. Noble
A Summer with Charlie - Lawrence
Fiction - Salisbury Beach, Lawrence, Mass. Featured in Merrimack Valley Magazine July /Aug. issue 2010
Travel, Humor, Commentary on migrant farm work and illegal immigration still very pertinent today.
"Just Hangin' Out Ma"
Thank God for the Street Corners of Lawrence, Mass. Anecdotes and humorous escapades about growing up in an industrial mill town in the 40s,50s and 60s.
This is the sequel to "Just Hangin' Out, Ma"
That Old Gang of Mine
This is # 3 in my Lawrence Hometown series. The series is about growing up in the 40's, 50's and 60's in an industrial mill town. Sorta like a Huck Finn goes to vist Uncle Ralph, the bus driver, who lives in a big, rundown city. Lots of fun.
Come On-A My House
This is # 4 in my Lawrence Hometown series.The old homested at 32 Chelmsford ST is pictured on the cover..
Down By The Old Mill Stream
# 5 in the Lawrence My Hometown series.
Standing on the Corner is # 6 in the lawrence My Hometown series.
The old Howard Playstead on Lawrence St.
Eat, Drink and Be Merry
# 7 in the Lawrence my Hometown series.
Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother
Classic tragic novel written from child's perspective. Deals with abuse, poverty, unemployment. Pulls no punches.
Noble Notes on Famous Folks
Humorous, satirical notes on everybody from Constantine to Bill Clinton. Inspiration: Willy Cuppy.
America on Strike
History - documented survey of labor strikes in America
Mein Kampf - An Analysis of Book One
Who are the American Nazis - the Liberals or the Conservatives?
MY NAME IS RICHARD EDWARD NOBLE. I AM A FREELANCE WRITER AND I HAVE PUBLISHED 12 BOOKS:"THE EASTPOINTER" - SELECTIONS FROM AWARD WINNING NEWSPAPER COLUMN - "A LITTLE SOMETHING" - POETRY WITH PROSE -"HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER" - A NOVEL ABOUT GROWING UP IN THE NEW ENGLAND MILL TOWN OF LAWRENCE, MASS, "HOBO-ING AMERICA" - A WORKINGMAN'S TOUR OF THE U.S.A. - "A SUMMER WITH CHARLIE" - THE STORY OF A YOUNG SAILOR'S LAST DAYS AT SALISBURY BEACH, "NOBLE NOTES ON FAMOUS FOLKS" - HUMOROUS ANECDOTES ON FAMOUS FOLKS IN HISTORY,
"AMERICA ON STRIKE" HISTORY BOOK - A SURVEY OF LABOR STRIKES IN AMERICA; "A BAKER'S DOZEN" A BOOK OF HUMOROUS SHORT STORIES; "JUST HANGIN' OUT, MA" - GROWING UP IN THE 40'S, 50'S AND 60'S IN LAWRENCE, MY HOMETOWN, "TENEMENT DWELLERS" - SEQUEL TO JUST HANGIN OUT, MA; MEIN KAMPF - ANALYSIS OF BOOK ONE - HISTORY. CAT POINT - AND THEM DANG OYSTER PEOPLE - SEQUEL TO THE EASTPOINTER
All 12 BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM, BARNES AND NOBLE AND OTHER INTERNET SOURCES OR FROM NOBLE PUBLISHING. ALL 12 OF MY BOOKS ARE NOW ON KINDLE AT BARGAIN PRICES TOO. IF YOU WOULD LIKE MORE INFORMATION ABOUT DISCOUNTS AND SPECIAL OFFERS E-MAIL ME. MY EMAIL IS ON MY PROFILE PAGE.